This is what working “under pressure” does to you. It renders your brain empty of all creative thought. Its actually not so much working under pressure, cos I rarely feel pressured, its more of continously, constantly doing one thing after the other, without any break at all, for at least 10-12 hours everyday. And literally without any break. In these past days there have been times when at 5 my bladder’s been on the verge of auto bursting cos it just kept slipping my mind that I have been wanting to go since 1. And then there are people who’ve been doing it forever, and are happily planning to do it for the rest of their lives. *phew*

Already, I feel like going home, get a laptop and somehow start working from home. I wish I could. I still haven’t been able to save enough dough for a nice laptop. And now my disdained heart is starting to wonder if I ever will. I think I’ll have to go for one of those loan schemes. Another monthly payment. *sigh*

Its raining. Its beautiful. Beautiful in that peaceful, sad kind of way. When you just wanna sit, near the edge so that your toes are just an inch or so away from the rain, and stare at the rain, into the rain, watch it falling, over the trees, over the mud, over the road, the far away horizon. I wish I could leave work and go, somewhere I could sit and just watch the rain hit ground after its free-fall from the clouds. Every drop, when it closes its eyes and looks down towards Earth, sitting atop a soft cloud, or maybe just hanging there in the middle, holding on to the soft, white puffiness. And then just let go .. leap .. joyfully .. with open arms .. head down .. wow!! Would love to do that right now. naked. arms open. the cool wind brushing past. just falling down.

Today morning, I read about this book, ‘The Future of Work’ by Thomas W Malone. I think I’ll buy it, and also read it. :) Its about … I think … de-centralizing an organization. I think its a great idea. People just get lost in their “work”. Or what they like to call work. Like zombies, and I mean it, like zombies they report in every morning, drag themselves around work, looking happy and very busy and then go back home when there’s really no point going back home. It’ll be nice if one can do the things one really wishes to do, without bothering to go and report to a place and stay there for the next 8-10 hours for tthe sake of earning bread. Veer always used tell me that it corrupts your soul … going to office. He has mostly, almost always, worked from home, and truly believes that that’s the way to be. And now I think I agree with him. Although, some time back I used to aggressively, consistently argue that although good, it might not be the best way for everyone. Some people need to follow a routine. Like I feel that if left to me, while working from home, I will keep ligering over breakfast, or maybe the TV for hours, hence missing deadlines. A strict discipline is wats called for when working from home, or when not working under a restrictive domain. But that’s the idea I guess. Self-improvement, of which self-discipline is a big part.

There’s so much to do … in life. I don’t even know where to start …