last night, i couldnt’ sleep, as i had yet again had chai at 8 pm, which always, for sure, takes away my sleep, irrespective of how tired i am. and i lay there in my bed, thinking, in-between reading shalimar the clown (i am beginning to enjoy that book now). i thought of something that had happened in my life some 12 years back. and i thought that it was good. and i thought about how i screwed it up. ok, i give myself that, i wouldn’t exactly say that i “screwed” it up, but i made a decision. i made a decision to alter the scheme of things and chose a different path from what i was on at that point in time. on a whim? yes, i think so. but that’s how i do everything that i do. on a whim. for me that’s how the world works. on a whim. not much thought process or planning goes into anything, things just happen. and hence that happened too, that alteration in my life, and alteration that pushed me towards a little path, that somewhere down the line eventually led me to where i am right now. and when i thought of that, i felt good. because i realized that i am happy now, and i also realized that i don’t think i would’ve been happier anyhow else. :)
the thought started with me thinking that so many good things have been offered to me in life, by life, but i always screwed things up.