ah, this song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7HcWPDYtwI

is a testimony to the fact that i am such a loser. to share some deep, deep secretive kinda things … i had sung it to my then husband (now ex) when he didn’t want anything to do with me … of course in my ever off-key voice, as bad as i ever could sound … i .. went on, and sang it .. the complete song. could i ever have been more ridiculous, not to say pathetic (and so funny now that i think about it). and that look on his face … wow, i’ll never forget it. it was like saying (to me) that look, saying “how pathetic can you be, and i don’t even know how to react”.

wow … now that .. that look, if you have ever faced it, that look, is truly heart breaking. very definitive that was, that moment. and i’d heard a clear, distinct “KLANK!!!” then .. inside .. and i knew that that was the sound of my heart breaking. that, that was that. no turning back now. that nothing will ever be the same again now. it hurt, so bad … nothing had gone wrong, i stood, i breathed, my heart pumped blood as it always did … but … but …

even today (been 6 yrs now) this song always, always makes me cry .. i dunno why .. i guess i still am .. as always … a pathetic loser
.
.
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… i must’ve looked so, so funny though … good that veer wasn’t there. i’d have been the butt of his jokes for all eternity then .. :)

so i went to play the vid and they blocked it in usa due to copywrite! Makes me want to scream in land of free. Anyways, when it comes to love, we are all “pathetic losers” at some point huh? but i think it has been worth the dream so far for me, still, “fools rush in where…”
pp

worth the dream .. hmmmm …

lyrics to the song:

I know you think that I shouldn’t still love you,
Or tell you that.
But if I didn’t say it, well I’d still have felt it
where’s the sense in that?

I promise I’m not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

I will go down with this ship
And I won’t put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I’m in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can’t talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of “it’s over”
then I’m sure that that makes sense

I will go down with this ship
And I won’t put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I’m in love and always will be

And when we meet
Which I’m sure we will
All that was there
Will be there still
I’ll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I’ve moved on….

I will go down with this ship
And I won’t put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I’m in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won’t put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I’m in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won’t put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I’m in love and always will be