a healthy debate ..

a quick update on me: my wonder, wander has stopped. i guess it was just PMS. feel better today. :) so i am just looking for a house now, as the water’s stopped again in malaysian township. we get just some hrs worth of water in the morning now. and summer hasn’t even started.

i am unable to understand why most women are not comfortable with giving their child their own name. and why surprise is displayed sometimes when i (proudly/vainly :-/) express that it’d always been my desire to name my child after me, and not after the (biological) father. i was sure of this one thing even when i was single (before my marriage and subsequent divorce i.e.; i am single now too). Shm, back then (when we were dating) used to just … listen, indulgently. it was only later that i realized that i might have to put up some fight for it when there was (very) slight discord when i did not change my name after marrying him. i do most things on a need basis. i never understood the need to change one’s name post marriage.

and then this lady friend once told me, “baap ka naam zaroori hai” … and i tried suppressing a giggle, made a serious face and said “whatever”.

the thought came to my mind when i was munching on a cold mid-meal of noodles and chana just now, and i started thinking about single moms. that many of them still put the father’s name as last name for their kids. a father who abandoned not just her, but rather uncaringly, HER child. not their child, because while abandoning, the dad did lose the right to call that child his … somewhat. no? then why keep on … “honoring” that .. person .. by giving your child his last name, and not yours. it’s a outright insult to that child, i feel, to that child’s emotions, and love.

but i will never understand why after all the work that i have put in, when the product is finally ready and delivered, the credit goes to someone else. of course (my) name matters. if it’s my effort and it is recognized, i need to see it in paper … kapish?

PS: this is not a generalization on fathers who do not live with their ex-wife and kid(s). but just a thought on men-folk who abandon their families without any consideration or thought … or even with consideration and thought.

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5 Responses to a healthy debate ..

  1. Mukta says:

    in that case, the last name should be ‘Shahenshah’. (you know the line, right…”rishtey main hum….”. :-D

  2. white magpie says:

    Malaysian township sucks as far as water supply is concerned..two things you need to look at when you are shifting – water supply and convenience..and if you need greenery and peace, move to the hills instead of farther from them..it’s quite nice on this side. the real estate has dropped quite mucho in the recession so you should get some great deals.

    maa ka naam, baap ka naam kya farak padta hain..sab badmaash hote hain bade hokar…

  3. jaggu says:

    this side? what side???

  4. Mukta says:

    and how long is this debate gonna be on? when are you going to post something new?

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