kya kal wo subah ayegi
jo sab ulta pulta kar jayegi
aur mujhko naya banayegi
?

intezaar nahi
bus ek asha hai
aaj ke iss pal se
naa hi koi nirasha hai

bus sapno kee hai
ik phulon kee daali
kya un phulon kee khushbu se
meri saanse bhar payengi
?

kya kal wo subah
ayegi
?

there’s so much i want to say, but when i open my mouth (figuratively speaking), it becomes a bottle neck, for all my thoughts. and then, some of it, i just wanna shout out. at someone, at everyone, the trees, the clouds. i don’t know. it doesn’t even matter. like everyone else, i feel trapped. like everyone else, i think, i am. i think, therefore, i am?

so of course, you can’t do anything about it anyways. so, just give up, or like the wise ones that walked the earth so peacefully said, give in, with a nice smile on your face. i understand; and, i try.

the silly smile’s back on my face…bah!!! stop showing off your puppetry skills dear universe… :)))))

i think of you
i try
and not

but can’t help it

your lips
thrust themsleves
on me
on,
into my mind

our kisses
sweet, sweet kisses
that sea
i never wished
to come out of

now
when i think of you
i try
and not

i just smile
:)

thanks
for letting drip
the juice
of that mouth
into mine
i will try
and not
remember
or ponder over
the fact
that you
(too)
just got up
turned
and walked away

after all
am i not
working on
‘conquer you ego 101?
????

i am
working on
zeroing in
on (my) desires
and
.
.
.

the problem with not being able to sleep till post 12:30 am is that one gets hungry, again. ** sigh ** i so should not have had that coffee at 8…

and then when one makes a sandwich, one makes it like one wouldn’t even make it for lunch. grab everything one can get one’s hands on; maybe even top it with a fried egg, and some chips to add that crunchiness. hmmm…

i wish i had something nice to drink though. something thick and cold; like thandai.

me: God, what do you want from me? What is it you want me to do?

God: Nothing at all…

me: hmmm…

i know now what can keep me happy. one of the things at least. keeping away from alcohol.. :)

i had been off…i remember saying sweetly no to it…sometime around last year; i remember the look of confusion on dad’s face. and then, just like that, i dunno how/when i started again. sheesh! no more. :) ok, not like strictly off it..but it’ll be a one-off thing from now on. :)

dear universe… :)

i (do) love you… :))))

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

this song always takes me someplace else:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0nFTdKlKLw

long back, i’d met this guy, in a club, who sang this song in french (karaoke night). i was swept right off my feet… :)

sometimes i feel it so strongly. my fucking…consciousness..peeling away from my body, from the inside of my body. not caring for it anymore, the body. not wanting it. if only there was a toggle switch somewhere; it’d extend itself, and turn it off…