what do i say
there’s nothing really
words do not come to my mind
what do i write
my mind is blank
my imagination, it seems, has gone blind

i can stay quiet
for a good long time
i can sit and not move
for long
maybe i’m just getting
lazier than ever
my joy, my happiness
there’s a sweet breeze, but no song

my eyes look tired
there’s no bounce in my walk
i don’t rush
i move slowly instead
but i am not sad
there is no bitterness
i feel … just ok,
maybe it’s my muse
my muse is dead

fiction:
on the 5th day of the slightly wintry, sunny month of november, Y looked up at the sky and felt at peace. the deep, blue, inky sky was sparsely dotted with white cotton puff clouds. some balled up, some thinly stretched .. like young, healthy individuals stretching and yawning on a soft carpet of comfort. looking up at that expanse of happiness made her feel good. it made her forget her present, her past, her pains. she took a deep, wholesome breath in and a smile broke on her face, all on its own. her eyes shone and her face got splashed with a holy cheer. it could wait, the events in her life, the little miseries constantly pricking her indomitable happiness; it could all wait. this moment she will just enjoy. feel happy, and enjoy; this moment, the sky, this morning, and this breeze, the universe’s personal gift to her today. she let out a soft thank you, and walked on.

the other day i was thinking about alimony. i don’t agree with the fundamental idea, of having someone else to pay for your life. esp when women ask for alimony, at the same time maintaining that we have reached a whole new era of women liberation and stuff, again esp., in the cities and such. of course i find ridiculous the idea of a guy asking for money from the rich wife after divorce. it’s a big thing, in the west apparently, where the women are (apparently/supposedly) all the more “independent”. then why expect someone, esp a person who you most probably don’t even like anymore, to pay for your life, your things, your clothes. or maybe that’s exactly why. you don’t like that person and you want him to pay. that’s sounds reasonable enough.

for me a divorce is an end to all things mutual. two people, who were together, are not together anymore, and they go their separate ways. marriage shouldn’t be all binding .. then that would be like a punishment. that no matter what, go through it. that’s not, i feel, how it should be. if at some point in life, a person feels that she/he is not able to, or does not want to go ahead with it, she/he should have the option to back out, or rather, get out of it. after all, as they say, this life is all we’ve got. it shouldn’t be wasted, this precious commodity, just because you promised your life to someone 10-15 yrs back. and the other person too … should relent. they should let the other person go, preferably without any hassles. what’s the point. why would one want to live with a person, who given a chance, would rather live with someone, or someplace else.